Week 8

Another week has passed and I don’t have much to report (that’s good I suppose): I’ve been working and driving back and forth but overall I’ve been well. The only problem at this point is that I have a blocked nose that makes it difficult to sleep and I can’t take my usual nasal spray… nothing serious, but I would like to get a good night sleep for a change!

I had the impression that the pregnancy symptoms were fading at some point during last week and I’m still worried, but I have to wait until Monday when I will have the next scan… hopefully it’s just that when I’m at work I’m distracted by other things and I don’t think about it as much. I had to tell a few people that I’m pregnant, mainly because should I feel unwell when I’m away from home, it’s good to have someone who is aware of what the problem could be; when they say “congratulations!” I always thank and then stop them, it’s too early to celebrate… this anxiety is part of the price to pay for infertility, the awareness that an early miscarriage for most women means they can try again an succeed after a few months, and for me, well I might not have another chance. But enough of this.

Six weeks are left before my husband and I are supposed to move to Brussels and start our new jobs there, but I haven’t signed the contract yet and I’m still hoping to find something else that will allow us to stay in London. I don’t think I will, since I have been looking for jobs around here for almost a year and the only answers I got was “sorry we are looking for someone more senior”. Looking back I guess I made a few mistakes at the beginning of my career, going for jobs that interested me without considering too much the impact they might have on my future… but I had some valuable experiences and met some of my dearest friends, so it was worth it.

Now I have a telephone interview on Monday. One would think that if they contacted me after reading my CV it means that they are interested, but experience proved to me that it’s not always the case. After the interview I have the first appointment with the midwife at the hospital, and later the ultrasound scan: it’s going to be quite a day, but whatever happens in the morning, I just hope to hear a little heartbeat in the evening…

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