We’re having a dilemma: what to do with our parents when Pallino is born? The basic issue is that they all live in another country, and we have a small flat, where we are not going to be able to have guests, but it’s more complicated than that.
I would like to have my mother with me when the baby is born. Do I need her also before that? Should I ask her to book a flight to be here for the due date, and then wait here in a hotel for, say, a week? or two weeks? But it would be very expensive for my parents, and they could waste they annual leave, and not being able to stay here later with the baby! Also L is going to take two weeks off after the birth to look after me, so I’m not going to be alone at home at the very beginning, but after that he needs to go back to work. And this is when I told my mum she should come: after two weeks from the birth, and take a room somewhere near our place for a couple of weeks. In this way I would not be alone for the entire first month. My parents said this is all good if we’re happy with it, but they want to know when I start being in labour so they can take a last minute flight to see us in the hospital, and then leave and come back after two weeks (it’s a 3-hour flight). I doubt they can find an affordable flight in May last minute, but I like the idea. I don’t have anyone here and I’m sure I’d love to share those moments with my family!
Now come my in-laws. Yesterday they spoke with L and told him that they are planning to come a few days before the birth to “wait for the baby with us”. Great. I don’t want my mum here and I get my mother-in-law. No way… They are older than my parents, both retired and not used to travel. And they have some health issues that make it difficult for them to travel, so it’s a miracle if they actually make it. But she is the anxious type, and is basically the last person I want around when I’m going to be nervous and scared on my own. Which means I now have to convince them to change their plans, find an accomodation for all of them when they will finally come, and try and stay relaxed in all that. Oh, and without hurting them, because if they decide not to come at all, L will be terribly sorry and I don’t want that to happen… And what were they thinking planning things without asking US what we prefer anyway??? Is it about them or about us?
Obviously I don’t really know what I want, I have no idea whether I want people around for the birth or not… I can make a plan and then find out it’s all wrong, but really I think it’s important that L and I have our space and take the decisions, any decisions, because it’s our life! At least until Pallino arrives and we won’t have a say anymore…