No matter what

When I was doing my PhD, I had the feeling I’d wake up every day and press the “snooze” button on my life… And it was more and more intolerable. Now I feel I want to live “no matter what”. I guess it’s the essence of growing up…

Since my last post, quite a few things have changed. I don’t even know how to explain how we got here, but we’re moving again. Last September I was looking for a house, with a plan to try and have another baby. We had a frozen embryo waiting at the fertility clinic, and I was waiting (waiting, again) to find the courage to give it a try. But we didn’t have space where we lived, then I almost lost my job. When we moved in our house, at the beginning of the year, I went to the clinic and discussed what to do. A few weeks later, L changed job and ended up working 65 miles away from home, which meant we basically never saw each other. No matter what, we thawed our little embryo and… It went well, I’m pregnant (and still can’t believe it).

I’m happy but also feel exhausted, dealing with Pallino on my own in the evening when I just want to lie down is tough. My company has an office in the city where L is now working, and apparently is a good place to live, so we’re moving there. Even if that means leaving our new house, and getting away from the Thames and from our few precious friends.

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6 thoughts on “No matter what

  1. It is so hard to do anything when you are pregnant and have a little one to take care of. I hope the move goes well, and that you get to be with your husband for help and support soon. Congratulations on your pregnancy! That is amazing news!

  2. I too wonder how you got where you are and I really feel for you. When I think of your situation I imagine so many constraints and so little free time or space: commitments to others at every turn and no space to be yourself or time to breathe. I wish for you whatever you would wish for yourself, but mostly a period of some stability!

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