This is my last week at work, finally. I’m already in a stage when I don’t care that much anymore, I would like to go for short walks, get my hospital bag ready, take a nap whenever I can, read a good book, sort out baby clothes in the loft. Writing proposals for projects I won’t be able to work on is not on my list. However I’ve got the last few days and I need to finish a couple of things. A colleague today emailed me asking if I could do something for him “before going on holiday”. ON HOLIDAY. I don’t even want to comment.
Pallino is getting a bit anxious too… he understands that things will change, but obviously doesn’t really know how, and children are scared of unknown changes. The immediate effect is that he doesn’t want to sleep in his bed (mummy needs my cuddles). Last night in his sleep I heard him counting (with the baby there will be 3, 4, 5 of us in the family?). And sometimes he says that without the baby we’re not a real family. But also, and I don’t know if this is related, but could be a way to express some kind of distress, he’s been saying that he doesn’t have any friends at the nursery (even though I see him playing with the others when I pick him up). So I detect a mixture of excitement and concern over the new arrival. Which is pretty much what I feel too!
I had an appointment with the midwife yesterday and everything seems OK. We talked a bit about my worries regarding the delivery, but there’s not much to say. I’m slightly changing perspective and hoping that this time will be easier and faster and I’ll recover better. There’s an additional worry that if labour starts before my parents arrive-ten days before the due date, I have no idea who can take care of Pallino, especially if I have to go to the hospital at night. I had a look at emergency childcare services, but they wouldn’t work at night and anyway need a couple of hours notice. And again, I can only hope that it will be OK.