LittleOne’s first full day at the nursery. The settling in process last week was smooth and uneventful, he played happily and cried only the first time when I picked him up, not when I left. Today he was happy too, but he has a bad cough and we haven’t slept well lately, and he didn’t manage to take a proper nap all day. The baby room at the nursery was too hot and with a stuffed nose, he couldn’t breathe well, poor love… but I needed a few hours by myself, even if I managed to rest only about half an hour, and the rest of the day passed by “surviving” (fold clean clothes, load washing machine, repeat, tidy up living room, clean kitchen, change bed sheets, time to pick up the children). I was sorry I wasn’t there to cuddle him when he coughed, I was happy I didn’t have to look after him all day. The face of the nursery carer when I told her I haven’t slept. She hadn’t connected that if a baby cannot sleep, the mother doesn’t sleep either. I had imagine this day, my first day without the children, differently. I would go for a walk, or shopping. I would have lunch with some friend. I would write. I’m writing only now that everyone else in the house is sleeping. I was too tired to go out. I didn’t speak with anyone all day.
Pallino is angry. Why is he angry? Nothing happened, that I know of. He’s been aggressive with his school mates, shouts at the teachers. Today I picked him up, we both went to pick up LittleOne, we walked home. It took me a hour to do all this, and I was tired before I started. We get home and he says “I expect to find my food on the table when I come home from school”. I was horrified. When did he hear people talking like that? He’s only watching CBeebies and Lego Batman movies. We certainly don’t talk like that to each other at home. I made him cook dinner with me. If he wants his dinner, he’d better work for it. He was fine after that, we actually had fun cooking together. Another weird moment was before going to bed, when he insisted L read another book to him, and started shouting when L didn’t and asked him to brush his teeth. “Never!”, he replied. He did brush his teeth, eventually. Is this just testing the boundaries? I try to stay calm and carry on regardless, and model the behaviour I’d like to see. But why is he angry?